The anti-Social side of Social Media and Tech Apnea:
‘Holding one’s breath while texting, scrolling, emailing’
A few years ago, I caught myself on messenger to my cousin in Australia, discussing an Instagram photo that had just gone live in Bali, reminding us of our pre-mum days (picture handsome Balinese mountain dwellers on their motorbikes, surrounded by palm trees, rice paddy fields, volcanoes and sunsets), whilst cross referencing work emails on the laptop and keeping an ear on the toddler playing in the garden (I feel slightly exhausted simply writing this).
Suddenly, my body felt tense and I felt a little stressed and wondered how such an enjoyable conversation could cultivate mild feelings of stress. Then, I noticed I was holding my breath, and there was every chance I hadn’t taken a breath since I had first logged on. I took a big exhalation, my shoulders dropped, and I started to breathe fully again and feelings of calm resumed. From then on, I came to realise, that almost every time I was holding my phone, whether, texting, emailing or mindless scrolling, I was also, unconsciously, holding my breath. I coined this feeling ‘Tech Apnea’ and on asking other mums, and clients to start becoming aware of this, the feedback was the same.
“OMG, I hold my breath EVERY time I’m texting or on Instagram, I even feel a little dizzy”. – Sam, London
“I suddenly realised I was holding my breath, every time I was holding my phone. This was a real wake up call’ – Bridget, Somerset
“Sometimes I get really stressed writing emails and now I know why. I don’t breathe at ALL when I’m replying to work emails’ – Kate, Brighton
What happens when we hold our breath?
Conscious breath holding during professionally led breathing exercises can be very beneficial to the body, so much so, that it can increase both the endurance of the physiological and psychological state.
According to the celebrated and much loved yogi, B.K.S Iyengar, the breath hold is a natural part of the respiratory cycle, so much so, it has a name: ‘Kumbhaka’ which is the “retention or holding of the breath, a state where there is no inhalation or exhalation” says the late Mr Iyengar.
However, consistent, unconscious breath holding, which is all too common these days, can have an adverse affects on our physiology:
When we hold our breath, the body can’t function as it needs to and if the body retains the carbon dioxide that it is attempting to expel, we can experience painful contractions in the diaphragm and intercostal muscles, which are a warning, sign to the brain that we must exhale. Tension can build up in the muscles used within the respiratory system, i.e. the shoulders, intercostal muscles and diaphragm. The breath hold indicates to the brain that the body could be in danger and prepares the body for a ‘fight or flight’ response.
Next time you are texting, scrolling, emailing, Instagramming, tweeting, check in with your breath.
Signs to look out for:
- Are you clenching your teeth? A tight jaw can be the first sign that the breath is being held
- How is your posture? Are the shoulders hunched? A scrunched posture – chin to chest, collapsed diaphragm can impede the respiratory process
- Is your breath shallow or deep?
- Are you breathing?!
Breath bites: how to manage Tech Apnea
Learn to become aware of your breath:
A full breath is essential for a healthy body and mind. Learning to become more aware of your unique breathing pattern will help you self regulate and start to notice when the breath is being held. Many of us go our entire lives without noticing one breath. When I first became a Transformational Breath coach, my dad, forever perplexed by my changing career plans, said ‘what are you doing now? Teaching people to breathe? How do you do that?!’ Then he took an exaggerated, comical inhale (belly in, chest puffed, a ‘reverse’ breather…..lots of room for improvement there!). He suddenly went very quiet (contemplative, not dead) and said: ‘In 62 years, that is the first time I have ever taken notice of my breath. Wow!’. His first conscious breath since the day he was born. We breathe, on average 20,000 times a day – if you are only half my dad’s age, that’s still, that’s around 22 million breaths that may have gone unnoticed.
If anything else was happening to us, say sneezing or coughing 20,000 times a day and suddenly we stopped, I’m sure we would notice the pause. The breath is so subtle, often silent, invisible affair that it’s no wonder that so many breaths go unobserved. If you focus deeply on your breath, you will notice it has a sound, a rhythm, a function, even an indicator to how we are feeling and after practicing for a while you will notice it has the capacity to move the entire body.
Bringing your awareness to your breath can be the first step towards building a conscious breath routine into your life. This is the foundation of a more mindful life. I’m not suggesting we all wake at sunrise (although as mums are often up at this hour anyway so this could be the easy part) to sit in lotus position to indulge in an hours pranayama everyday, but slowly weaving a little breath awareness and exercises throughout our every day can help us engage with the here and now and help us check in with our breath and also nourish our feelings.
Below are my top 5 breath ‘check in’ exercises I have written with parents in mind, but anyone can enjoy, to practice throughout your busy day with children (or not).
ON RISING: If you can catch that moment, just before your toddler/child/partner/dog/all of the mentioned run and jumps on the bed, close your eyes, place both of your hands on your lower belly (just below the naval) and gently try and encourage the breath here on the inhalation. Breathing in, the belly should rise. You can imagine a balloon gently inflating on the inhalation and deflating on the exhalation. No effort or counting is needed here, just awareness. Allow the breath to come in through the nose, out through the nose. Just take 10 breaths (this takes less than a minute for most) so you start your day with a simple awareness of the breath. To add a bit of flavour to this, you can choose an intention for the day, and on inhaling /belly rising, you can say in your mind ‘I breathe in energy’ and on the exhale / belly softens: ‘I let go of anxiety’. Choose whatever you feel you need more or less of for the day.
n.b with baby: this is a great one to practice if you are breastfeeding if you are feeding with support behind the back and head, the baby can act as guide to your belly rising on the inhale. Soothing, calm, slow breathing, with awareness, should induce feelings of calm and be a great tonic for you and your baby.
n.b. If you are ever blessed with the chance of a bath, this is a great one to practice as the shape of a bath perfectly supports the torso. Watch and feel the water rise on each breath.
n.b.b You can practice this anywhere, on the bus, waiting for the children outside the school gates, in a queue etc.
POWER SHOWER: With a toddler and a baby to attend to in the morning, my personal best time in the shower is now under 3 minutes. Sometimes I even get to lock the door and have time to myself. With or without a toddler staring at me/lobbing sponges at me/ asking me questions like: “Why haven’t you got a willy? Can we still be friends though, even if you can’t grow one?” I will always try and practice a little breath work. It’s good too for children to see you practice a little breathing as they always like to copy most things we do! Here’s a couple I practice depending on the time I have:
Under 3 mins:
Simply take your awareness to your breath. How are you breathing this morning? Does it feel easy, is it flowing freely? Does it feel constricted? Breathe in through the nose and see if you can encourage the belly to rise. Breathe out through the nose. Stretch the arms up. You can interlace the fingers here. Breathe in through the nose. Notice with your arms raised the breath naturally ascends up to the upper chest. Breathe in a little more. There’s ALWAYS more! Relax the arms down and let the breath go. Breathe in through the nose. Out through the nose to complete this exercise. A little breath awareness and 6 conscious breaths should set you up for a calmer day.
3 mins +:
While in the shower, place the palms of your hands on either side of the lower ribs, so the little fingers are in line with the lowest rib. Breathe in and you should feel the rib cage expand outwards, in both East and West direction, breathing out you should ‘let go’ allowing the ribcage to naturally fall (the belly should still be rising here on the inhalation). Take 10 to 20 breaths like this and encourage the ribs to expand a little more in each inhalation. You can count in for the count of 5. Exhale for 5. Build up to five rounds. By activating the rib cage and exercising the diaphragm you will increase your energy and circulation. If you dare, turn the water to cold for 5 breaths, back to warm for 5 breaths.
SHOULDER SHRUGS: So much tension can build up around the neck, shoulders and upper back. From carrying our babies, to pushing buggies and swings, holding toddlers and shopping at the same time, sometimes we can spend the entire day carrying a 12kg+ weight all while cooking, cleaning, chatting and attending to everything else we have to do.
This exercise can be practiced anywhere (not when carrying a child though!), best to be sat in a chair or standing tall. It’s also a great one to do before you start any work/house admin/shopping on your laptop. I practice this one every time before I start any work on my laptop:
Sit comfortably in a chair, rest your hands on your thighs and allow the spine to be tall (it sometimes helps to take the spine a little away from the support of your chair). . Be mindful of how you are sitting. Make sure the shoulder blades are drawn down your back, the chest is lifted, but not strained, and allow space between the pelvis and the rib cage. A good posture can help you breathe a fuller breath. A regular breathing practice can also improve your posture.
To help release tension in the respiratory muscles in the shoulders and upper back: take a deep and slow inhalation through the nose and raise the shoulders to the ears. Exhale and let the shoulders go. Repeat 5-10 times and then rotate the shoulders slowly in a backward direction
IN TRANSIT/DURING A TANTRUM: This is a super quick calmer for those all too stressful times during tantrums. You can also do this on commuting to work (not while driving!) or if you get twitchy while queuing. I used this one often, when in doctor’s waiting room, which seems to be like a second front room since I have had children. Hold your left hand with your right hand with the right thumb applying pressure to the centre of the palm of the left hand. This acupressure point is for the diaphragm and can help us connect with our breathing and release tension. Close the eyes and breathe gently with all the focus on the palm of your hand. Repeat on the other side. Breathe in for a count of 5. Hold for a count of 2. Exhale for 7. This will activate the parasympathetic nervous system and induce feelings of calm.
BEFORE BED: If you haven’t been beckoned to deliver more water or random food requests, to the children’s bedrooms (8.15pm: ‘Mum, can I have a potato?’), and have made it to bed alone, you can practice this one in peace. Lay in bed, on your belly, head to one side and make sure the jaw is relaxed (allow there to be a small space between the upper and lower teeth). Close the eyes using a diaphragmatic breath (breathing in, belly should rise), breathe in through the nose for a count of 4. Hold for a count of 3. Exhale through the mouth for a count of 6. Repeat this for 5 to 10 rounds and notice how the body relaxes on the exhalation. On each exhale imagine ‘letting go’ of the day. This should prepare you for a deep sleep.
By cultivating an awareness of the breath throughout your day, you will be more tuned into when you stop breathing, especially when on your phone, laptop, kindle or while watching the television.
The best way to avoid the ‘Tech apnea’ trap is to avoid the ‘breath-stopping’ technology in the altogether. Unless you are prepared to go off – grid (we did, for a week – it was heaven), this is pretty unavoidable in this modern world where we can text our mum friends next door, facetime our cousins in America, order our weekly shopping and answer taxing questions from 4 year olds all from a slim block of plastic in the palm of our hand. It’s no wonder we are becoming a generation of screen addicts.
Apparently the phone is as addictive as nicotine (slightly more informative and fun than a quick puff) the phone has an entire western population hooked.
“People can be addicted to behaviours,” says James Roberts. He’s a marketing professor at Baylor University in Waco, Texas. Roberts also was the lead author of the new study. It appears in the August Journal of Behavioral Addictions.
“Mobile phone users show the same symptoms that a drug addict might have”, Roberts explains. Certain people use smartphones to lift their moods. And it may take more and more time on those phones to provide the same level of enjoyment. For such people, losing a phone or having its battery die could cause anxiety or panic. That’s withdrawal, says Roberts.
With out external environment changing so rapidly, with new technological upgrades being introduced every few months, this affects our internal messaging system too –new emotions have been discovered as a direct result of the technology boom. Dr Tiffany Watt Smith, author of The Book of Human Emotions, latest discovery are rather modern emotions:
- Ringxiety:Mistakenly sensing that your mobile phone is going off.
- Cyberchondria:Anxiety about “symptoms” of an “illness” fuelled by Internet “research”.
Dr Tiffany Watt Smith, author of The Book of Human Emotions: An Encyclopedia of Feeling, from Anger to Wanderlust. “The way we feel is also enmeshed in the expectations and ideas of the cultures in which we live.”
More alarming research is out there…The heaviest smartphone users click, tap or swipe on their phone 5,427 times a day, according to researcher Dscout. That’s the top 10 percent of phone users, so one would expect it to be excessive. However, the rest of us still touch the addictive things 2,617 times a day on average.
I wouldn’t have time to be in the Top 10 per cent, but I knew I verging on the obsessive when I would often feel a peculiar pull to check my phone (it wasn’t ringing or bleeping!) and my day was peppered with thoughts that would adopt a ‘Facebook status’ accent. This new short, abbreviated little voice inside my head was both amusing and disturbing. My thoughts have been hijacked! I’ve gone staccato! As my second child was born, the pressure to have an Instagram account was rife ‘It’s perfect for freelance new-mums. You should be on there, it’s the future.’ said one of my dearest friends and Instamum (11,000 followers…the pressure!). A few months on, my eyes and brain warped (not just via sleep deprivation) as I would pass beautiful scenes and instead of acknowledging them with my senses I would think ‘Oh there’s an Instagram pic’. How sad is that? I wanted to weep for myself, and the future. This rather depressing realisation led me to some drastic personal action.
I’m sure you haven’t reach this point but if there is niggling little wise Buddha voice somewhere deep inside you saying you need to cut back on your affair with your phone, laptop, TV, all things tech, here’s a few tips that may help you step away from the phone and live ‘back in the room’.
TOP FIVE TIPS TO AVOID THE SCREENS
- Buy a clock for the bedroom
I’m one of those annoying people who doesn’t like to wear a watch but always likes to know the time. The arrival of the mobile was great, until I had a baby because I always had to have the phone in the bedroom. This was so I could clock those all-important hours I was woken up during the night. Knowing how much sleep I had managed to bank during the night gave me a little confidence to get through the day. At least I could know I could get through a day on 3 hours sleep without collapsing and knowing I had had 4,5,6,7 made all the difference to my mental state. Four months in with my second born, I would often catch myself checking the time and this ‘time check’ would often seduce me to switch off airplane mode and log on to emails, Facebook, instagram. A quick midnight time check would often turn into a few mins of mindless scrolling which would deprive me of further sleep (even on night screen mode which never made much difference to me) and put baby at unknown risks of mobile phone exposure. So, I bought a digital clock, a small simple purchase, which made a massive difference. (note to self: digital clock = no ticking…whoever invented a bedroom clock with loud TICK TOCKS is a sado maschichist). The absent of the phone in the bedroom was a game changer for me as the temptation to log on at night and in the morning was removed and less time on the phone and more quality, ‘real time’ with myself, baby and the toddler. And more time to breathe!
- #nophonefriday
Leave your phone at home one or two days a week. This sounds risky but it’s so liberating. Learn from my mistakes…I was running typically late and pushing my son at high speed to nursery. We were blessed with a walk in horizontal rain that morning and he refused to put the pushchair ‘roof’ up so I had to use a huge golfing umbrella to cover us. Then the phone rang, and I thought ‘I HAVE to answer this, it’s 8.45am..It just can’t wait, the day will be over soon’ so I used my elbows to push the ‘trolley’, as we call it, and had the phone tucked between cheek, chin and shoulder and took the call like a true ‘multi-tasking working-mother’ would do. I don’t recollect exactly how I was controlling the umbrella but let’s just say it was being wielded at such an angle, we couldn’t see where we were going. The phone call ended very abruptly as I crashed the ‘trolley, child and my pride’ straight into a lamp post.” I now have the weekends with no social media / logging on at all, except the odd weekend when I may be working.
- Buy an old-school Nokia (quite extreme..Perhaps trial it for a month)
It got to the point where my son would often hand me my phone if he found it around the house. I would always say ‘thank you. but I don’t need my phone all the time, it’s really not that important” then realised, to him it must look like it is important as it’s always in the same room as me. Bothered by my phone usage, I took action and bought an old Nokia for when I was out and about (anything urgent) and would only use my phone if needed when the children were in bed. Or I was in the bathroom! N.b This was a month trial while I was on maternity leave. It may cause your partner/friends mild anxiety, as they can’t get in touch with you via email/social media. If they really need you. they will call.
- Go off grid – urban style. #nowifinocry
Once or twice a week, turn off Wi-Fi in the house. Always at night. Give the house a bit of a digital detox. I have friends who do this and they have a ‘no Wi-Fi Wednesday’ in their house, which means the entire family have to talk to each other and play games such as snakes and ladders, twister, and the kids really look forward to it.
- Holiday in off places off grid.
We went on a rewilding week in Andalucía, which meant we were physically off grid for a week. The ecologist running the course taught us how to build shelters, make fires, carve swords and spoons out of tree branches, track wolves, navigate by the stars. This was perhaps the best holiday (with children) I’ve ever been on. I felt like I have been to digital rehab and have used my phone less ever since. There are lots of off grid places in the UK now too. Here are some of my family favourites (but not so cut off that you can’t buy nappies or find a hospital).
- London Aquarium: No signal. You can make this trip last around 3 hours (shop included) and I enjoyed it as more than the 4 year old and he loved it.
- Lake District. No signal. Peace, fresh air, walks, no one to call
- Exmoor National Park. Porlock. This little village has zero Wi-Fi and Porlock beach (in the Summer/Spring) is great for children. Good walks.
- Woodbridge Campsite, Suffolk. Forests, trees, fresh air, no phones.
Just one more….
- NO MORE BUGGY CALL
I’m guilty of this (confession above), however tempting it maybe and I realise that sometimes the only time to call anyone is when you are wielding a pushchair but unless it’s really important, ban the buggy call. a) It looks wrong on all levels…. the contorted posture, the strained look on ones face…. if awake, the slightly nervous child, who knows s/he is being pushed one handed by a distracted driver. b) Its super stressful. On your posture, your brain, your street cred.
RUN FOR THE HILLS…. or buy some nature prints/wallpaper
Today, more than ever, we have a plethora of distractions and the tech boom has further scuppered our ability to concentrate. Especially if you live in a city. A study by scientists at Exeter University, found an area of the brain associated with being in a clam meditative state lit up when people were shown pictures of rural settings. Images of urban environments resulted in a significant delay in reaction, before a part of the brain involved in processing visual complexity swung into action as the viewer tried to work out what they were seeing. There’s a growing body of evidence that natural environments are good for humans, having a positive effect on physical health.
So if you live in a city and spend half your time connected in someway to technology, it’s paramount you put your phones down and spend more time in nature, minus the impulse of taking pictures of the glorious wisteria (if you are over 40) or your little ones mucking about in leaves. It’s easy to pretend we are spending time in nature – sometimes we may catch ourselves having a park stroll but find ourselves distracted with the urge to text someone to tell them about the amazing Rhodendrums up at Hampstead Heath (I’m just over 40..these things excite)
Way back, in the 1970’s, I was lucky enough to experience the days of landlines, where phones were drilled to walls and a phone upgrade meant you went from a telephone, designed with holes in the dial ring, which made the tip of your finger go sore if you had dial a friend’s number in a different county, to a high tech phone with push buttons.
These social interactions involved telephones that were physically attached to bricks and mortar, so naturally we were forced to be more still. My dad struggles being mobile on his mobile, he finds it stressful walking and talking as his body is historically and habitually programmed to stand still while making a phone call. Our generation, however, can walk miles with our eyes glued to our phones, our other hand steering a double buggy and our proprioception so sharp, we can sometimes dodge other distracted mums walking our way. No wonder we are more stressed than ever!
Then there’s the good stuff…
IPhones are often invaluable, they act as our timekeepers, event organisers, taxi hailers, weathermen, guides when fathoming out new cities and countries, personal trainers, roaming offices, DJ’s, not to mention helpful when making a call or two. We’ve come to rely on this 4 by 3 inch gadget more than we realise.
Then there’s the laptop and ipads making the perfect companion for any freelance mum.
Without modern technology many mums would need to be in an office away from their children. The rapid advances in technology have been brilliant for parents who are working for themselves.
More mums are working now than ever. More than 1 in 12 mums are running their own business (ref: netmums 2016) There are bloggers, vloggers, Digital Mums; mum’s being able to work from home which has been a godsend for many of us. I’ve spent half my mum life on a laptop and iPhone but at what cost to my children’s care and my health? Yes, I’m able to check emails from bed before the toddler bounces in, I can upload a few Instagrams before breakfast without him noticing but the phone is always around.
The pressure to respond to email enquiries on the same day and have your Instagram feed updated daily are tiny pressures, but these micro pressures can actually start feeling quite big when you are operating on 3 hours light sleep and simple moments like counting to 5 while scooping in the correct levels of formula to a milk bottle can make your brain feel like it’s working out a sum even Carol Vordeman would struggle with. Honestly, I went through a few weeks when my partner Nick would only here me utter numbers. “Did you have a good night?” he would ask, all chirpy. I would relay the hours the baby woke up. “9, 11, 1, 3.30, 5, 7” followed by ‘1,2,3,4,5’ while measuring her formula feed. He would then cycle off to work, in search of anyone who spoke English, using words not numerals.
#nevercompareneverdespair
It’s not just our attention spans and levels of distraction that’s affected by the increase in our use in social media. New research suggests that heavy social media use might be correlated to lower self-control, which marketing experts believe could lead to higher spending. “Ultimately, the way you counteract this is by raising your self-awareness,” Columbia University Professor Keith Wilcox told TODAY. “It’s not about don’t spend time on Facebook, but just be aware of what it might be doing to you.”ref: Today Magazine
When two German universities joined forces to investigate social networking, researchers discovered that one in three people surveyed felt worse (“lonely, frustrated or angry”) after spending time on Facebook, often due to perceived inadequacies when comparing themselves to friends.
Not only is social media wasting our time but it’s eating away at our self-esteem too. It’s a minefield if you are a new mum too. I’m sure you are all friends with someone who you genuinely like in real life but on social media they annoy you as they post endless photos and updates of how amazing their (online) lives are. There are two roads here. The quick route. Unfollow them (you will still be friends but without the constant updates of their perfect lives. They will never know you are no longer a fan. Two. The slightly longer, almost yawn invoking self-awareness route. Why are you feeling annoyed/frustrated/angry? Sometimes these feelings can actually be a catalyst to you connecting with what it is you really need. Do you need more adventure, sunshine, a better relationship, work guidance in your life? Once you’ve figured this out…Unfollow them. Being triggered once is enough. Being constantly triggered, if they appear on your newsfeed too much, will be damaging your mindset. Take the Facebook App off your phone. You will feel instantly lighter. Real life is pretty cool.
This constant use of technology also kills real interaction, real connection, much needed quality time with people. How often do you go to a mum meet up and when they are not with their children, they are on their phone?
Children’s play parks are packed with phone addicts. It’s either ‘eyes down’ scrolling, chatting on the phone to someone supposedly more interesting than a four year old repeatedly saying: ‘watch me’ ‘watch me’ or mums and dad’s are busy using the camera app to capture their little one whizzing down a slide/on a swing/kicking a ball/eating their first ice cream. We are in effect missing these moments we are desperate to capture.
In retrospect, capturing some special experiences can be wonderful – looking back on holiday photos can temporarily lift our mood (if it was a holiday without too many spats!). However, using technology has become the norm…can you imagine if everyone had an actual camera instead of a phone? The amount of chunky Canons and Nikons that would adorn coffee shops, pubs and parks, snapping perfectly presented green matcha lattes with heavy duty Nikons, getting your tripod out at the park to take a steady frame of the roses at the first hint of Summer. We just wouldn’t bother. The very fact the phone is so portable, with so many functions is what make’s it the perfect juxtaposition of alluring and practical and we now believe it’s an essential part of our lives. But to what what cost to our children?
A poll, commissioned by Digital Awareness UK and the Headmasters’ and Headmistresses’ Conference (HMC) revealed that one in three children have had to ask their parents to stop constantly checking their mobile phones.
A third of youngsters thought their parents were bad role models who kept looking at phones and tablets – even if their children asked them not to.
‘Around one in five said the use of mobile devices stopped their families from enjoying each other’s company, and 82 per cent said they should be banned at dinner.’
If we are bringing the next generation up in a home environment which gives them the message that using phones, watching TV and shopping on line is the norm then we are giving them the green light to do the same.
‘The amount of time people spend on social media is constantly increasing. Teens now spend up to nine hours a day on social platforms, while 30% of all time spent online is now allocated to social media interaction. And the majority of that time is on mobile – 60% of social media time spent is facilitated by a mobile device.
Astonishingly, the average person will spend nearly two hours (approximately 116 minutes) on social media everyday, which translates to a total of 5 years and 4 months spent over a lifetime. Even more, time spent on social is only expected to increase as platforms develop, and is expected to eat further into traditional media – most notably TV. Right now, the average person will spend 7 years and 8 months watching TV in a lifetime. However, as digital media consumption continues to grow at unprecedented rates, this number is expected to shrink in counter to that expansion. (ref: social media today)
“Currently, total time spent on social media beats time spent eating and drinking, socializing, and grooming”
More time online than socializing? Than eating and drinking? Without our help and guidance, the next generation (and us!) are in for a pretty numb life. So how to best manage our relationship with technology and wean ourselves off social media:
- Delete those apps. An obvious one but this is quick and easy to do and will give you a little bit of real time back.
- Don’t check in before midday. Or if you habitually check your phone first thing in the morning, leave it an hour (build up to two) before you log on/make contact with it.
- Contact people in different ways. Get in your car, on the bus, use your legs. Go see your friends! This maybe an extra effort but all the more worthwhile for real laughs and chats that last longer than 50 characters. If travel is a problem, buy a postcard (from a real shop!) and scribble a few words to send to a friend/relative.
- Turn all notifications off. If you are on maternity leave and not expecting any calls, go onto do not disturb mode/silent mode for a day/week.
- ‘No Comment’. Have a week of not posting, commenting or liking a thing. The world will keep turning.
- Real life. Learn to be distracted elsewhere. Go to an art gallery, museum. Resist the urge to take a picture.
- No phones in parks or when the children are awake. You will only feel more love and less distracted.
Note to self: it’s good to be bored. Sometimes, looking after the children can be a bit boring and checking your phone can appear more of an interesting distraction than building a train track for the ninth time in a week. Remind yourself Boredom is GOOD. ‘Boredom is, in reality, crucial to any ability to be truly productive, let alone effective. If you’re flat-out busy and engaged all the time, you may feel important, but the reality is different. It’s those who are constantly distracted with activities who are most likely to be headed towards a nasty let-down.’ (ref: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/boredom-can-be-good-for-you.html)
Boredom encourages reflection and gives room for creativity and inspiration.
TAKE ACTION!
SOCIAL MEDIA REHAB – 1 WEEK PROGRAMME
Monday – No scrolling, commenting, posting, taking photos
Tuesday – Go on silent for the day
Wednesday – Turn Wi-Fi off in your house for a day
Thursday – Delete two apps you find most distracting
Friday – Leave your phone at home if you are going out. You wlll feel liberated.
Saturday – Write a postcard, letter, communicate to a friend / relative in another way
Sunday – Engage in a new activity which takes you mind (and body!) away from your phone.
-End-
refs:
(TUC 2016 stats on increase in mums working from home)
In 1971, the first email was delivered. More than 40 years on, social media has taken the world by storm. Social networking sites, such as Facebook and Twitter, are now used by 1 in 4 people worldwide. Such activity may seem harmless, but some researchers suggest social media may affect our mental health and well being.
In 2012, Medical News Today reported on a study suggesting that Facebook use may feed anxiety and increases a person’s feeling of inadequacy.
A more recent study, led by social psychiatrist Ethan Cross of the University of Michigan, found thatusing Facebook might even make us miserable.
“On the surface, Facebook provides an invaluable resource for fulfilling the basic human need for social connection,” says Kross. “But rather than enhance well-being, we found that Facebook use predicts the opposite result – it undermines it.” Medical daily http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/275361.php